Taboo?

I have been thinking about some things for a few weeks now and wanted to share with the blogger world.

As a first time mom I'm always learning. The first few days home I learned that I could function on NO sleep, not well but I managed. I learned that breastfeeding was a full time job but worth every second. I learned that baby blues and ppd are very real. I learned that emotions you may have buried deep down can come rushing to the surface. I learned that time moves too fast and it's all over in the blink of an eye. I used to feel so guilty for not enjoying every single second.....I simply had no idea how fast it all goes.

As Isla has gotten older I have learned to enjoy the little moments. I have learned to take deep breaths and brush off the little things. I have learned Patience.....that's a big one Patience!

I labeled this Taboo? for a reason and I'm trying to find the words to explain my title.

During the newborn phase I suffered from ppd and it was something I suffered in silence (except for Alex and some close friends.) Why? Well It's something a mom doesn't want to admit. "Will it make me look bad?" "Will it seem like I'm a bad mom?" Will it seem like I don't love my baby?" Who wants anyone to think these things? Now before I had Isla I never understood ppd, or the stress that comes with being a mom. I wasn't very educated on the subject I guess.

As Isla has gotten older I no longer have ppd and I'm loving life. I love being a stay at home mom, I love being a wife, I love that I'm going back to school slowly so that I can still focus on being a mom to Isla. Are there days that I just want a break? Yes and that's okay. I think mom's sometimes try to do everything. They try to be supermom, including myself. I always put pressure on myself to be the best mom, wife, housekeeper, chef, planner of activities....etc. Do I sometimes resent the fact that my husband can go to work, hold an adult conversation, and not have to be home? Yes but I wouldn't have it any other way. I know how lucky I am to be able to stay home. I'm so lucky to have it even be an option.

I was told having a baby would be very difficult for me, yet it wasn't and I'm so blessed to have Miss Isla Mae in my life....beyond blessed. I also don't feel guilty for feeling tired, rundown and wanting to run from my house to go get a coffee alone, lunch alone or just drive alone. I don't think a mom should feel guilty for having those feelings, because they're real. We're human just like anyone else.