Aging gracefully?

I'll be 30 in a couple weeks. I don't know why that number bothers me but it does. I guess a part of me feels like life is passing me by too fast. Another part of me is scared. Scared because my father and my grandmother died so early in life. I never want to leave Isla too early. I know how lonely it can be without a mom and reaching 30 makes me feel old. I can guarantee my dad didn't turn 30 with these thoughts. I can guarantee my dad didn't think he would only have 19 years left on this earth when he turned 30. Are these morbid thoughts? Maybe, but it’s how I feel. 

Now onto the normal reason most women don't want to turn 30 - vanity. I've never thought of myself as vain. I'm pretty sure I have the same normal self-esteem issues as other women.

When I look in the mirror I see a 27 year old and I have to remind myself that I'm now 30. *gasp* 
I see the wrinkles forming around my eyes, the dark circles are darker and my skin looks dull. I want to glow again, damnit. I try really hard to take care of my skin.
 I wear sunblock on my face every single day but I still get too much sun. I live in Southern California and it's hard not to be in the sun most every day.  I don't smoke and never have. I wear moisturizer every day and always wash off my makeup. I do what I can to stay looking fresh and young. Now with all that said I still see myself aging. I know it's natural but I don't like it.

Living in Orange County you may encounter some folks with Botox, Restylane, fake perky boobs and a face lift or two. I really don't want to go down that road. Alex really doesn't want me to go down that road. So I need to start really looking into my skincare routine. I'm hoping if I start now I won't be tempted with Botox.....I want my forehead to always be able to move and I don't want to have fish lips. I want Isla to know that you don't need things like Botox to look pretty. You don't need a lot of make-up. You just need a good skincare routine that grows with you and helps you age gracefully.